Session 1

1. Session 1

1.3. Page 2

CCS3140 Session 1

Session 1: Together with Families

Checking My Understandings

Practices to Support Positive Relationships

Focus

Everyone benefits when families and child care providers develop a common, shared concern for the child. You have just learned ten ways child care providers can create an environment where children feel accepted, respected, and safe.

Directions

Review the earlier section, The Role of the Child Care Provider in Developing Relationships with Families. For each of the following situations, indicate which practice listed in your reading is being used. When you’ve finished, check your answers.

Note that while some of the practices may be used more than once, others might not be used at all.

Example: “Good morning,” you say to Ms. Jones as she leaves her son at child care. “You write your accounting exam this morning, don’t you? Good luck!”

Answer: Practice 8. Be warm and friendly toward families. Show an interest in family members as individuals.

“Good morning,” you say to Mrs. Chan. “I know that it will soon be Chinese New Year. Can you help us by giving us some ideas of how we might decorate the playroom on that day?”
A father has told you that his child’s temper tantrums are difficult to handle. Your response is, “It seems like you’re feeling very frustrated now.”
You write a note to Marie and leave the note in an envelope in her child’s locker. It says, “Sorry I missed you today. Just wanted you to know what fun Julius had. He helped make the fruit salad for a snack. He cut up at least two whole bananas. Julius was so proud!”
One day when dropping Yoseph off at the centre, Mrs. Habib explains that she is not Yoseph’s mom; rather, she is his legal guardian. She explains that when Yoseph’s parents died, Yoseph came to live with her. She asks if the newsletters and notes that are sent home could use the language of “parent and/or guardian.”
When Becky arrives in the playroom to pick up her child, you say, “Hi. How is your new job going?”
Samuel’s mother brings in a favourite traditional recipe for snack time one day. You thank her and let her know that one day soon the cook will prepare and serve the special snack.
You share with Amanda’s step-dad, “Amanda spent a long time this afternoon standing and holding onto the side of the cupboard. I think she’ll be taking her first steps very soon.”
When Mike’s grandmother arrives, she finds you and your co-workers talking to and playing with the children.
Ruben has asked to talk to you about his child’s picky eating habits. You say, “I’d like to talk about Jessie’s eating, too. I bet we can come up with some ideas together to get Jessie to eat a variety of foods.”
When Paula’s mother asks you to give Paula an over-the-counter medication, you say that you really would like to help but the policy of the centre is that staff cannot give medicine to children unless it is prescribed by a doctor and the appropriate form is completed.
You are feeling a bit annoyed at Sheera’s mother because this is the third time she did not bring mittens for outdoor play. Then you wonder if the family is having some financial difficulty and whether you can find a pair of mittens in the lost-and-found box.
Martin returns after a vacation and announces to you that he now has five new sisters and brothers. He thinks this is cool, especially since several of them are older than him.

Check your answers.

Stresses Faced by Families

Families today face many stresses. When families are under stress, it can be difficult to meet the needs of the children in the best way possible. Quality child care that is supportive of families can have a positive impact on children and families.

Given that families face stressful issues, it is critical that child care providers do not judge or stereotype. It is important for child care providers to understand that the challenges facing a family may make it harder for them to meet their child’s needs.

Stressful issues might include the following:

Divorce—Some marriages end in divorce, and it is likely you will work with children whose parents are separated. Although many parents try to protect their children while going through a divorce, it can be extremely difficult for parents to pay close attention to the child’s needs under such stress.
Blended Families—Some parents who divorce remarry. This means many children live in blended families. Blending families together takes adjustment. This time of adjustment can be stressful for all family members.
Single Parenting—Some children in Canada live in single-parented families. Some (not all) single parents face financial difficulties. Others can be overwhelmed at handling childrearing responsibilities alone. While it seems to be more common to think single-parented families are led by mothers, it is important to recognize that there are also many fathers single-parenting children.
Young Parents—Just like all parents, teen parents try their best to be good parents. Sometimes teen parents require extra support and knowledge about how to provide the best care for their children.
Children with Special Needs—Families of a child with special needs often pull together and provide a support network to each other. Having a child with severe special needs can place strain on the family.
Poverty—Poverty can affect family life. For some, poverty may mean accessing community support, such as food banks or second-hand clothing outlets. This may affect the self-esteem of all family members.
Employment—Shift work can complicate family life and childrearing. Parents who work evening or night shifts may have insufficient sleep because they are caring for children during the day.
Immigration—Canada proudly welcomes immigrants from all around the world, and has done so for many generations. A great number of Canadians are from families who immigrated here, whether recently or several generations ago. The first few years after immigrating to a new country can be very challenging. Learning the language, understanding cultural and societal practices, finding employment, and missing friends, family, and other supports, among other things, can be stressful.
Job Stress—Some people suffer stress at work from being overworked, from fearing job loss, or from some other cause. Many families want to spend more time with their children and less time at work, so it can become stressful when family members find there simply aren’t enough hours in the day.

Problem Solving with Families

Child care providers can work together with family members and with co-workers at the child care centre to find mutually acceptable solutions to challenges. The steps for problem solving with families are as follows:

Step 1: Use active listening when the parent or family member is expressing a concern or problem. For example, Shari’s mom is angry and expressing concerns that Shari doesn’t eat at the centre.

Step 2: Define the problem. Rather than making judgements or blaming, try to identify the problem without focusing on who is involved. For example, the problem isn’t that Shari’s mom is angry; it is that Shari may not be eating at the centre.

Step 3: Generate some possible solutions to the problem with the parent or family member. For example, you could say, “What are some foods that Shari likes?” Maybe Shari’s mom can try giving her food at home that is similar to the food at the child care centre. Alternatively, the child care centre might try serving something similar to what Shari eats at home.

Step 4: Evaluate the solutions. This step involves looking at the positives and negatives of each strategy. Ask yourself and the parent what part of each strategy would or would not work. It can be helpful to write down your thoughts on each strategy.

Step 5: Decide which solutions to try. If you are working with a group, the decision can be made by consensus. For example, “Shari’s mom is going to bring in lunch a few days a week for the next little while to see how that works out.” It’s important to see this solution as a trial. If it doesn’t work or its effectiveness wears off, try a different solution or begin the process again.

Adapted from Ellen Galinsky. “We can do it!” Young Children 44:4 (1989): 2–3. Reprinted with permission of Ellen Galinsky, Co-president, Families and Work Institute.

consensus: agreement among all or most of the members of a group

Helpful Hint: In CCS3110 you learned strategies for developing your active listening skills as you worked through Session 2: Communicating Effectively. If you are still able to access that course or your course folder, you may wish to review what you learned from that session.

Course Completion Checklist

Have you remembered to update your Course Completion Checklist? If you haven’t already started to use the checklist, access it in the Toolkit now. Remember to update the checklist every time you work on the course.