Session 3
1. Session 3
1.10. Page 2
Session 3: Child Abuse, Family Violence, and Community Resources
Impact of Exposure to Domestic Violence on Children
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Watching, hearing, or later learning of a parent being harmed by a partner threatens the sense of stability and security that children rely on from their families.
Children may experience increased emotional and behavioural difficulties. Some children display traumatic stress reactions. Examples include sleep disturbances, intensified startle reactions, and constant worry about possible danger.
The offender may use children to control an adult victim. Examples include the following:
- claiming the children’s bad behaviour is the reason for the assaults on the non-offending partner
- threatening violence against the children and their pets in front of the non-offending parent
- holding the children hostage or abducting them in an effort to punish the adult victim or to gain compliance
- talking negatively to children about the abused parent’s behaviour
Children may experience strong ambivalence toward their violent parent: affection co-exists with feelings of resentment and disappointment.
Children may imitate and learn the attitudes and behaviours modelled when intimate partner abuse occurs.
Exposure to violence may desensitize children to aggressive behaviour. When this occurs, aggression becomes part of what the child sees as normal, and it is less likely to signal concern.
Indicators of Domestic Violence
Young children may display some of the following difficulties when they are living with domestic violence. Be aware, however, that young children may show these problems for many other reasons besides exposure to domestic violence. Domestic violence would be just one possibility to consider when a child is having these difficulties.
- physical complaints, which can come in many forms
Headaches or stomach aches could be examples.
- separation anxiety beyond what you would normally expect for the age of the child
- sleep difficulties or fear of falling asleep
- increased aggressive behaviour and angry feelings, physically hurting self or others
- constant worry about possible danger
- seeming loss of previously learned skills, such as toileting skills or naming colours
- withdrawal from others and activities
- lack of interest or feelings about things he or she would likely respond to
- excessive worry about the safety of loved ones—needing to see siblings during the day, asking constantly about Mommy
- difficulty choosing and completing an activity or task
- very high activity level, constant fidgeting and/or trouble concentrating at levels not typical for the child’s age and stage of development
It is suggested that parents seek assistance for their child from a physician or family counselling agency when the child’s behaviour
- is physically harmful to the child or others (e.g., cutting own clothes with scissors, lying down on the street)
- is intense enough to interfere with the child’s day-to-day adjustment in the program
- does not respond to basic child guidance strategies
- persists over a time period longer than three to six weeks