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Writing Commentary: "This Shows That" Strategy
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Writing Commentary: "This Shows That" Strategy
This method is the most straight-forward strategy for writing commentary and it's simple. - After a quotation, simply begin a new sentence with the words, "This shows that..." and then finish the sentence with your explanation. Essentially, this method allows you to explain what the quotation shows, not re-stating what it says. This part can contain multiple sentences, as well; you're not restricted to one sentence.
Example
Macbeth concludes, “If chance will have me king, why chance may crown me without my stir” (1.3.257). This shows that Macbeth’s conscience is still intact, so he resolves to do nothing to become king and not to act on the witches’ prophecy.
Macbeth concludes, “If chance will have me king, why chance may crown me without my stir” (1.3.257). This shows that Macbeth’s conscience is still intact, so he resolves to do nothing to become king and not to act on the witches’ prophecy.
Reflection
Notice how the writer explains that the quotation shows Macbeth still has a conscience. This is commentary, not plot summary. The reader cannot go to Act I, scene iii, line 257 to read: “Macbeth’s conscience is still intact.” That’s because these words are the writer’s thoughts, analysis, and commentary about the quotation.
- Add an additional, "This Shows That" sentence that explains how the quotation shows the topic sentence in action (how the quotation provides evidence that the idea is true). Commentary is not random: it should connect to your topic sentence and thesis statement, so be sure that you only show the reader what matters for your argument.
Example
Topic Sentence: Selfish desires in the guise of ambition can lead a person down the path of evil as Macbeth shows with the regression of his morality from a victorious thane to a lustful killer.
Evidence: “I have no spur to prick the sides of my intent, but only vaulting ambition, which o’erleaps itself and falls on the other” (1.7.492).
Commentary: This shows that Macbeth knows that the only reason he has to kill Duncan is because of his own ambition for power. It also shows that he recognizes that this ambition will cause him to “fall.” In this respect, Macbeth’s selfish desires outweigh his sense of right and wrong.
Topic Sentence: Selfish desires in the guise of ambition can lead a person down the path of evil as Macbeth shows with the regression of his morality from a victorious thane to a lustful killer.
Evidence: “I have no spur to prick the sides of my intent, but only vaulting ambition, which o’erleaps itself and falls on the other” (1.7.492).
Commentary: This shows that Macbeth knows that the only reason he has to kill Duncan is because of his own ambition for power. It also shows that he recognizes that this ambition will cause him to “fall.” In this respect, Macbeth’s selfish desires outweigh his sense of right and wrong.
Reflection
Notice that the commentary here focuses on the topic of “selfish desires” that is introduced in the topic sentence. The commentary is focused on the topic sentence and is not random. Use the topic sentence and thesis statement as a lens to focus your explanations of evidence.
Notice that the commentary here focuses on the topic of “selfish desires” that is introduced in the topic sentence. The commentary is focused on the topic sentence and is not random. Use the topic sentence and thesis statement as a lens to focus your explanations of evidence.
- It's not enough to show only one piece of evidence, and it's not enough to have only one sentence of commentary per quotation. You need to provide explanations, connections, thoughts, and analysis in order to convince your reader. A good rule for writing commentary is to write at least two sentences for each quotation. Remember, your essay is made up mostly of your commentary so writing two times as much commentary as quotations will ensure that your essay is your own, original thoughts. For subsequent sentences, continue to use similar wording, "This also shows that...."
Example
This shows that Macbeth knows that the only reason he has to kill Duncan is because of his own ambition and selfish desire for power. This also shows that Macbeth is willing to commit an evil act that is an illogical decision since he gives three reasons not to kill the king and only one reason to kill the king. This shows that Macbeth is not thinking clearly through his decision and is acting on his emotions.
This shows that Macbeth knows that the only reason he has to kill Duncan is because of his own ambition and selfish desire for power. This also shows that Macbeth is willing to commit an evil act that is an illogical decision since he gives three reasons not to kill the king and only one reason to kill the king. This shows that Macbeth is not thinking clearly through his decision and is acting on his emotions.
Reflection
Here, the writer has provided three sentences of commentary to explain the quotation and has taken the explanation to a deeper level about Macbeth’s character. The more commentary you force yourself to write, the deeper you force yourself to go in your analysis.
Here, the writer has provided three sentences of commentary to explain the quotation and has taken the explanation to a deeper level about Macbeth’s character. The more commentary you force yourself to write, the deeper you force yourself to go in your analysis.
- As you can see from the previous example, there is a lot of repetition of "this shows that," and your editor will likely point that out! Repetition of any sort makes your essay repetitive and choppy, which takes away from the overall flow of ideas and the persuasive power of your writing. Even if you were to take out the "This shows that" part of the sentence, your sentence will still be complete! This also provides you an opportunity to add your own transitions and "voice" to your writing to smooth out the paragraph.
Example #1
Macbeth concludes, “If chance will have me king, why chance may crown me without my stir” (1.3.257). Macbeth’s conscience is still intact, so he resolves to do nothing to become king and not to act on the witches’ prophecy.
Example #2
Macbeth knows that the only reason he has to kill Duncan is because of his own ambition and selfish desire for power. He is willing to commit an evil act that is an illogical decision since he gives three reasons not to kill the king and only one reason to kill the king. Macbeth is not thinking clearly through his decision and is acting on his emotions.
Macbeth concludes, “If chance will have me king, why chance may crown me without my stir” (1.3.257). Macbeth’s conscience is still intact, so he resolves to do nothing to become king and not to act on the witches’ prophecy.
Example #2
Macbeth knows that the only reason he has to kill Duncan is because of his own ambition and selfish desire for power. He is willing to commit an evil act that is an illogical decision since he gives three reasons not to kill the king and only one reason to kill the king. Macbeth is not thinking clearly through his decision and is acting on his emotions.
Reflection
Notice that the words “This shows that” have been removed from this commentary. The sentences that remain are complete sentences without the “This shows that” clauses. However, notice in Example #2 that the remaining commentary is still a bit choppy. After deleting “This shows that,” you may need to revise the commentary for smoothness by adding in transitional words and phrases.
Source: Dobbs, M. (2016, July 05). Teaching Students How to Write Commentary for the Literary Analysis Essay - Bespoke ELA: Essay Writing Tips + Lesson Plans. Retrieved June 07, 2020, from https://www.bespokeclassroom.com/blog/2016/7/4/teaching-students-how-to-write-commentary-for-the-literary-analysis-essay