Lesson 1: Mastering Your Life

5 - Choices: Selecting Strategy

Knowing Yourself

Getting in tune with yourself means reaching a deep understanding of yourself. You get to know others by listening to them and talking to them. This is how you get to know yourself too. 

Setting up a constant dialogue with yourself can put you in touch with your innermost feelings and give you reassurance. Being on familiar terms with yourself can lead you to a great fund of inner strength. 

Properly utilized, imagination can build a stronger self-image. Picture yourself successfully functioning in a specific situation. Mental practice can help your real life performance when the time comes. This is especially true for situations that are frightening. Beforehand, mentally outline the step-by-step procedure you will use. See yourself mastering the situation and conquering your doubts and inhibitions. In time, your positive mental image will become a reality. When you believe in yourself, your options are unlimited.

Knowing Your World

Sensory awakening is one of the avenues for greater awareness. Your connection to your environment is through the senses. Unfortunately, much of the time your senses are either dulled or muffled because of inactivity. Your life becomes a smooth mindless connection of one routine habit to another. Much of the time your reactions are automatic; you give little attention or awareness to your rich environment. Under these circumstances, you deny yourself full expression of your inner thoughts and feelings. Make a deliberate decision to be more in touch with your world by saying,
“I will discover new details about this experience that I have ignored previously.”
“I will be more alert and more observant.”

The Master Plan for Success

You can create the state of mind you want that will lead you to success. First, you have to look at life as a great tug-of-war between what you picture as desirable (green light) and what you picture as obstacles or resistance (red light). The illustration that follows shows your positive thoughts on a horizontal plane. Your negative thoughts are opposing forces that you encounter on the same horizontal plane. To make headway as positive and negative thoughts battle back and forth, you must rise above this conflict and take an overview of what life is all about. You balance what is happening between the two opposing forces by searching for the right insights and the right feelings to move forward with the best choices.

If we get carried away with the positive side, we may blunder forward with unrealistic expectations about what can be done. We totally disregard the negative elements that are a natural part of life. On the other hand, if we get bogged down with the negative side, we may become too immersed in the barriers that hinder a project. Then, we become so overwhelmed with what can go wrong that we do not even begin. If we focus too much on either the positive or the negative perspective, we distort reality.

Look above the push-pull dynamics that are happening around you, and retreat to higher ground where you can survey the scene in a calm state of mind. The lessons you learn from your bird’s eye view allow you to think differently. The key question to ask yourself to reach the vertical plane is “What is the worthy thing to do?” The aerial view gives you wisdom. Your mind is receptive to new and creative possibilities. Postpone your important thinking until you are in a high state of mind. Stop turning problems over and over in your mind. Relax, and the right solutions will come to you. You will be able to see lessons you need to learn and see what you need to do next.

Positive Addiction

William Glasser has devoted an entire book to the description of the unique phenomenon known as positive addiction. We can readily offer examples of negative addiction to cigarettes, excessive food, alcohol, and drugs. Positive addiction is a compulsion to engage in a beneficial habit. The two main categories of positive addiction (also commonly abbreviated PA) are mental and physical. For example, mental PA is some activity such as meditation. Physical PA includes activities such as running, walking, bicycling, exercising, and others.

The PA activity itself may be physically strenuous and demanding, but it sets off a mechanism allowing the individual to “spin free in their mind”, entering a trance-like or transcendental state that accompanies the addicting exercise. This is the whole key to positive addiction. The special PA pleasure becomes linked to one specific activity that cannot be easily substituted. For example, if a PA runner sustains afoot injury, he or she may bicycle daily until running can be resumed. However, it will not be as satisfying as running.

Once the PA activity is started, at least six months are necessary to reach the PA state where the mind engages in that special process of heightened awareness. Some people never experience the PA state or may enter it only rarely, but the physical part of the PA exercise will be beneficial nonetheless.

Positive addiction has personal benefits. Positive addiction increases mental strength. When the individual reaches mental freedom through PA, new alternatives and options for solving problems seem easier to find.

An overall feeling of both physical and mental well being is noticed. Your confidence and self-control is improved. PA enables you to shed bad habits because you realize these habits will interfere with the pleasure you get from PA. Greater emotional control is another usual benefit. Because you can enjoy a very complete rest, less sleep is required. Most PA individuals report healthy weight loss and much more energy for their daily tasks. For all those reasons, positive addiction is an extremely beneficial experience.

Finding a State of Calm

When we are too tense or too excited, we are not effective problem solvers. The thought channels of your mind are most productive and creative when in a state of calm. Worry and fear are two natural enemies of peace of mind. Expressing your fears to someone close to you is an ideal way to dissolve them. We acquire the habit of worrying, but because it is an acquired habit, it can be eliminated. Every problem has a solution and, therefore, it is conquerable. A useful aid to problem solving is to list all the facts on paper—both good and bad because there are always two sides to every problem. Then relax and gain insights into the right choices for you.

Use each life experience as a means of learning rather than an end in itself. Learning is an ongoing process, not a finished product. See failure as a step to learning. Decide to master something that is out of character for you. You have your own separate learning curve for each activity you undertake. Realize that anything you are unwilling to learn will haunt you until you master it. Do not see your classmates or coworkers as rivals or critics but rather as resources; they are allies, not enemies.

Start the day right by relaxing in bed a few minutes before you begin your morning routine. Deliberately bring positive thoughts to your conscious mind. Practice imagery to focus on your goals. For example, imagine yourself successfully doing a project that has special meaning to you. Include in your life certain activities that bring you contentment and act as “spiritual tranquillizers”. What do you do to put yourself in a completely relaxed mood? Your chosen outlet will be unique to you.

Choosing a Philosophy

These lessons have used many quotations. Develop a philosophy of life that will help you during the difficult times.

Here are some more good examples: