Example Student Response
Completion requirements
Diploma Exam Preparation-Persuasive Writing in
Context
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Review the assignment page from the sample diploma exam you studied earlier.
Now read the following Persuasive Writing in Context assignment, written by an actual English 30-2 student on the diploma exam.
Now read the following Persuasive Writing in Context assignment, written by an actual English 30-2 student on the diploma exam.
English Language Arts 30-2
Persuasive Writing in Context, January 2012
Scored Example
Dear whom this may concern,
My name is Kerry Sinclair. I am a recent graduate from Prosper High School. I am writing in regards to the issue of the movie theater being shut down. I believe that shutting down the Aurora Theater is a bad decision and our town would not benefit by selling it off to the highest bidder.
Aurora Theater is a great asset to our town. It is one of the very few places that families can go with their younger children to do family time since there is no age restriction. I know that when I as in grade five the only place that my mom felt safe dropping me off with friends was the theater. The theater allows kids to have the opportunity to become more independent because parents knew that it was a safe and respectful place to be. I have on the other hand taken some time to look at the financial situation and review it. I understand that the town does not want to keep something running that is not bringing in any profit. There are many options to fix this problem. One I suggest would be using cheaper products such as the paper used for the tickets along with the ink, and cheaper popcorn products. Also only bring in movies that have got good reviews instead of just large quantities of movies make it large quality of movies. I think that there are many ways in order to stop going into debt and coming out with a profit.
I believe that by keeping Aurora Theater will benefit not only the new generations but the older ones as well. Would you rather have kids going into a building and knowing that they are safe and being well behaved than them having no where to go and causing destruction within our town. The older generations only have a 26% of attendance for males and an 18% of attendance for females. Even though these numbers are low they still enjoy coming to the theater and having a good time. It allows them to have a sense of independence again. I think it would be truly foolish if the Aurora Theater were shut down. I think this town needs to protect its younger generations and allow them the same freedom they deserve.
I would like to thank you for you time and I hope that town counsel will review my letter and take my opinions into count when deciding the verdict of Aurora Theater. Hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Kerry Sinclair
Alberta Education Examples of the Standards for Students’ Writing, from the January 2012 Diploma Examination, pp.45-46. Reprinted with permission.
Persuasive Writing in Context, January 2012
Scored Example
Dear whom this may concern,
My name is Kerry Sinclair. I am a recent graduate from Prosper High School. I am writing in regards to the issue of the movie theater being shut down. I believe that shutting down the Aurora Theater is a bad decision and our town would not benefit by selling it off to the highest bidder.
Aurora Theater is a great asset to our town. It is one of the very few places that families can go with their younger children to do family time since there is no age restriction. I know that when I as in grade five the only place that my mom felt safe dropping me off with friends was the theater. The theater allows kids to have the opportunity to become more independent because parents knew that it was a safe and respectful place to be. I have on the other hand taken some time to look at the financial situation and review it. I understand that the town does not want to keep something running that is not bringing in any profit. There are many options to fix this problem. One I suggest would be using cheaper products such as the paper used for the tickets along with the ink, and cheaper popcorn products. Also only bring in movies that have got good reviews instead of just large quantities of movies make it large quality of movies. I think that there are many ways in order to stop going into debt and coming out with a profit.
I believe that by keeping Aurora Theater will benefit not only the new generations but the older ones as well. Would you rather have kids going into a building and knowing that they are safe and being well behaved than them having no where to go and causing destruction within our town. The older generations only have a 26% of attendance for males and an 18% of attendance for females. Even though these numbers are low they still enjoy coming to the theater and having a good time. It allows them to have a sense of independence again. I think it would be truly foolish if the Aurora Theater were shut down. I think this town needs to protect its younger generations and allow them the same freedom they deserve.
I would like to thank you for you time and I hope that town counsel will review my letter and take my opinions into count when deciding the verdict of Aurora Theater. Hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Kerry Sinclair
Alberta Education Examples of the Standards for Students’ Writing, from the January 2012 Diploma Examination, pp.45-46. Reprinted with permission.