10 - Peer Groups and Their Influence

A peer is a person of the same rank or standing and is often of the same age. A peer is an equal. A common concern of parents is the influence of peers on their child’s actions and values. Many parent-child arguments centre around the child’s choice of friends. Parents become particularly anxious if they feel their child is giving up parental standards and adopting peer standards instead.

We usually compare ourselves to others who are similar to us in beliefs and values. These persons are said to be our reference group. For example, your reference group may be your classmates or your athletic teammates. Sometimes we use as reference groups those groups in which we actually have membership. Sometimes we use groups in which we wish we belonged. How much of our behaviour is influenced by the groups depends on how important it is to us to identify with our reference group or maintain membership. We are attracted to people who are reflections of ourselves or who represent what we would like to be.

Young people find security in relationships with others their own age. With the support of the peer group, the individual can move from parental control to greater self-control. The peer group assists the individual in obtaining personal evaluation that is objective without family biases. Within the peer group, the individual is compared to friends of equal ability and not to brothers and sisters. Peers provide the individual with a social setting in which social behaviour can develop. The individual can feel secure in discussing a variety of sensitive topics with peers. They discover friends may have similar feelings, and thus they feel less guilty and awkward about their own feelings.

Identifying with a group allows the individual to share in whatever prestige and power the group possesses. Some persons are so lacking in self-confidence that even the slightest approval or disapproval from others will get them to act in particular ways. The group has a tremendous influence.

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