5 - Frustration and Stress

Frustration is the result of thwarting or blocking behaviour that will help us to reach our goals. As the definition suggests, people want to follow a certain course of action but their efforts are defeated. What are some frustrating situations we may encounter? For example, you cannot find an important book that is overdue at the library and spend all Saturday afternoon searching for it. You may have wanted to enter a particular occupation but found you did not have the aptitude or financial resources to pursue that career. Some frustrating situations are momentary and insignificant. Others may be long term and much more devastating.

Frustration tolerance is the ability of an individual to handle frustration without becoming maladjusted or too upset. People exhibit a variety of behaviours when they meet frustrating events. They may withdraw if they feel they cannot cope with the conditions. They may become angry. Well adjusted people accept some measure of frustration as a normal event that occurs in the real world from time to time.

approach-approach, avoidance-avoidance, approach-avoidance

There are three kinds of conflicting situations: approach-approach, avoidance-avoidance, and approach-avoidance.

Approach-approach is a positive win/win situation. When you are offered two attractive choices, you are enticed by both possibilities. Both alternatives are equally desirable in the approach-approach conflict. You may ask, “Why would it be considered a conflict if everything is positive?” We consider each choice in turn and may waver from one to the other until we finally decide. Sometimes we put our decision on hold until we have a chance to think about it. Gradually, one alternative will gain a slight edge over the other, and we decide in its favour. Later, we may reverse our decision. Approach-approach conflicts sound easy to solve, but we are often fearful that we may miss some important factors and take second best. For example, your friend asks you to go to an exciting party where you know you will have a great time. The same night is a concert 100 km away; the entertainers will be superb. Which one do you choose?

The approach gradient describes the increase in the strength of the pull toward an attractive goal the closer the individual gets to the goal. Once you have decided on a goal, all your attention and energy is directed toward reaching that goal.

Avoidance-avoidance is not a good situation to be facing. You are offered two unattractive choices, and you are asked to choose one. Your strategy is to assess both possibilities carefully and take the lesser of two evils. For example, in science class you have a special project that is difficult, complicated, and time-consuming. You wish to avoid it. The other alternative is that the teacher will call your name in class if the assignment is not done, which is embarrassing. In addition, you risk the chance of getting a low grade or failing the course. Therefore, you are experiencing an avoidance-avoidance conflict.

The avoidance gradient is used to describe the increase in the strength of the tendency of an individual to avoid an undesirable goal the closer one gets to the goal. For example, if you have a great fear of reptiles, when you visit the zoo and approach the reptile enclosure, the closer you get, the more difficult you will find controlling the urge to make a fast exit.

The third type of conflicting situation is approach-avoidance. This type of situation has both positive and negative values. Few choices in our lives are either all good or all bad. Many of our choices will have a mixture of both. We are pulled in opposite directions as we focus on the good points and then the bad points. For example, you have just baked a tasty casserole. When you pull it out of the oven, you are tempted to taste it (approach). But you also remember what it feels like to burn your mouth on hot food, so you set it aside to cool (avoidance). Approach-avoidance conflicts are usually much more complex than that, especially when they occur in our personal relationships.

The Power of Stress

Similar to frustration and conflict, stress is an inevitable part of our lives. Stress is effort, strain, intense exertion, and pressure from adverse conditions that make demands of an individual. Stressor stimuli describes the factors creating stress. Stress reaction is the defense used to respond to or conquer stress. For example, getting a severe cold is a stressor stimuli. The stress reaction is taking suitable medication, drinking soups and juices, and getting extra rest.

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Stress comes in two basic types, healthy and unhealthy. Yes, stress can be healthy! Normal stress is beneficial because it makes people alert, responsive, and often more efficient. Some of our emotions centering around stress and tension can be very exciting. Certain sports activities contribute to healthy stress. Stress becomes dangerous to our health when our bodies get geared up for stress, the stressful situation passes, and we cannot turn off the stress button. Stress becomes continuous. The body’s defenses may deteriorate when stress becomes permanent.

Two reactions to stress are fear and anxiety. Anxiety is a general feeling of uneasiness arising from the expectation of a threatening situation from an unknown source. For example, Martha was starting a new job. Everything seemed fine, but she still felt very nervous and uneasy although she could not pinpoint the reason. Fear usually originates with a specific threat such as financial difficulties, possibility of losing one’s job, or actual physical danger.

Stress List

Stress appears in many forms. As Dr. Selye has stated, no stress means death. A wise approach to stress is to be sure pressures do not bombard us from all directions at once. That is similar to having ten large airplanes attempting to land at the airport all at the same time.

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